An Alan Bennett Evening

By Alan Bennett

BED AMONG THE LENTILS - A Monologue - Susan, an alcoholic, nervous vicar's wife who has to travel into Leeds to go to the off-licence because of her debts with the local shop keeper, distracts herself from her ambitious, and, as she sees him, vainly insensitive husband and his doting parishioners by conducting an affair with a nearby grocer, Ramesh Ramesh, discovering something about herself and God in the process A CREAM CRACKER UNDER THE SETTEE - Doris, aged seventy-five, is a tidy woman - and when she suffers a fall after trying to clear up after her considerably less thorough home help, Zulema, it becomes apparent that her constant nagging may have been responsible for her husband's early death. Alone and injured, she wonders whether the only place left for her in society is a care home which she distrusts. Resisting this with all her being, she decides she'd rather die on her own in considerable pain than live in a care home 'smelling of pee'. SAY SOMETHING HAPPENED - Mr and Mrs Rhodes get a visit from a novice social worker trying to help, but her inefficiency soon shows through.

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